I’ve been really struggling with my workload this term. I don’t find essay writing easy, I never did even at school.
My big problem is that I’m really struggling with book report writing. I’m not sure I understand the writing techniques required and I think it’s holding me back in producing the work I feel I can produce.
On top of that I’m having anxiety at the minute, and a bit of depression, which I have suffered from all my life. And on top of everything else, it’s making my mind wander and not allowing me to put myself into my writing 100%. I’m crippled by the worry that every time I hand something in that it is not good enough, which makes me procrastinate and makes the problem even worse.
So I’m ashamed to say that I’ve actually been looking online at buying some writing help, from a site like essayhelp.org. I didn’t realise until I started searching for resources that you can get people to write academic papers for you, for a fee.
Now I understand that this is cheating in a way. And I’m not saying I want to do it all the time, but I’m desperate. I’m going to the doctors to try and get on top of my depression through medication, I think. But in the short term I think over the next few months I’ve got to find a way out of this anxiety I am suffering.
I’m wondering if I could get someone to help me with the academic writing by ordering a paper on that topic that they have written. I could then edit it to put more of my own thoughts and angle to it, basically using it as a base to build on, to stop me panicking and struggling so much.
I know that this is not something I should be doing. I’m also aware that it’s going to cost money and I’m also aware that I will feel even worse doing it. But the alternative is that it’s going to get to the stage where I may not and in anything worthwhile at all and may even drop out.
I desperately want to be where I need to be in my life and I’m wondering if getting help with academic papers in the short term could help. I suppose another alternative would be to find somebody locally who could sit with me and help me to structure what I want to say. But I’m thinking this would be even more expensive and basically exactly the same as me ordering something and then editing it myself.
I’m in a bit of turmoil about this and I’m not sure what to do.